Well, being that I live in the UK, I think it would be amiss to not write a post on the upcoming royal wedding. Some people have already asked me about what I think, and what I’ll be doing. Here’s the thing, for someone who seems to have an opinion on everything, I don’t actually have any strong feelings for the royal family (either for or against). To me, the royals are just another category of celebrity. Although I do enjoy a good dose of Hollywood gossip, I don’t really follow celebrities. I can be kind of oblivious. I live in my own bubble, and it is highly likely that if a celebrity was sitting right in front of me, I wouldn’t even recognize them. Plus, let us not forget that I am a queen in my own mind. I am totally self-obsessed… but I’m sure you’ve figured that out by now. I can tell you, however, that I absolutely will be watching the royal wedding. After all, show me a girl who does not love a good wedding! I can’t wait to see what Kate will be wearing and what the guests will be eating (do you think they will show that part?). I think it’s going to be a spectacular event.
What are my thought’s on the new princess-to-be? All I know about Kate Middleton is that she is a beautiful girl with super shiny hair (gosh, what do you think she uses?). I’d love it if she was a little more adventurous when it comes to fashion. With all that she has at her disposal, I’d love to see a bit more personality in her wardrobe. I do hope she choses to wear McQueen for the big event. His clothes have so much power and beauty to them. That would be completely fabulous. Yeah, so that’s not exactly much of a commentary on my part, but like I said, I am not really a royal follower.
… Now, there IS actually a subject that I do have strong feelings on here: cake (or, the wedding cakes to be more precise). According to what I’ve read in the papers, the wedding cake is going to be a highly decorated fruit cake, by cake maker extraordinaire, Fiona Carins. While I may be a bit of a fruit cake, I am not a huge fan when it comes to eating them. Nevertheless, it is a very traditional wedding cake flavour in the UK, and I have no doubt it’s going to look amazing. BUT Prince William’s groom’s cake baffles my mind! William has asked for a Rich Tea biscuit cake.
If you live outside of the UK, you are probably not be familiar with the Rich Tea biscuit. Here it is, in all it’s glory. I don’t think it is going to win any beauty contests, do you? Well, it isn’t going to win any tasting contests either. As far as treats go, I consider it highly depressing. It makes me think of old people, homeless old people… homeless old people who are cold and dirty with tattered baby blankets covering their shoulders for warmth (are you feeling this imagery or what?). So what does it taste like? It reminds me of a Ritz cracker, but without the salt or any of that delicious buttery flavour. Instead, it has sugar, but I’d only call it mildly sweet. According to Mr P, my royal consort, people like to dunk them in their tea. If you dunk it too long though, they fall apart and your tea starts to look like vomit. Sounds good right? Have I enticed you? Prince William wants a cake made from these.
Apparently, as a young boy, the prince used to love eating chocolate biscuit cake as a snack. Okay, I get it, I know that food has a lot of sentimental power. And I do realize that when you grow up on a particular food, you often tend to love it as an adult. I wouldn’t want to eat it, that’s for sure. That’s saying a lot, because I eat loads of garbage LOL. It goes without saying that this biscuit cake is going to be massively pimped out, and somehow, they are going to make this concoction look fabulous… but still… eewww. Cover it with a billion sugared roses and whatevers and it’s still gross. Okay?! I said the royal biscuit cake is eewww.
p.s. I am still waiting to receive my invitation, do you think it got lost in the mail?
You know what I think this looks like????
Chocolate Biscuit Fridge Cake (recipe from Woman & Home)
Ingredients:
- 175 g butter
- 2 tbsp golden syrup
- 250 g dark chocolate, chopped
- 280 g rich tea biscuits, broken up into small chunks
- 85 g raisins
- 85 g chopped roasted macadamias
Directions:
Line a 23cm cake tin with cling film. Melt the butter, golden syrup and chocolate over a very low heat, then stir through the biscuits, raisins and macadamias. Transfer to the tin and chill until solid. Cut into squares with a hot knife.
Notes on the recipe:
The recipe I used was very misleading. The picture looks nothing like the finished product, and I followed the directions. I chose the recipe because the picture was the most elegant looking biscuit cake I have come across, but that’s not what I ended up with. No, what I got seems to resemble solidified dog food. If you wanted your cake to look like the one they show you, you’d have to use way more chocolate (maybe double) and maybe less biscuits. They also sprinkle theirs with cocoa powder, which I did, even though the recipe doesn’t mention it.
If you do decide to munch on chocolate biscuit cake while watching the royal nuptials, maybe add some glace cherries or pistachios to give the cake some much needed colour and excitement. Oh, and don’t forget to wear your favorite tiara.
You are too funny, HH! I was laughing out loud at your description of Rich Tea Biscuits!
I’m looking forward to Friday. Planning to have some stereotypical tea and crumpets for the big event! ;P
You are so funny…yes I do wonder what she uses to get her hair that shinny and I think a truffle cake would have been a better choice
Happy Tuesday!
You are SO funny, love your description of the rich tea biscuit…enjoy the rest of the week
I don’t think it looks all that bad! I have a soft spot for macadamias so those would do me in. I’m not a royal follower either but can’t wait to see what she’s wearing!
Hee hee! this is such a funny post!
I think you are a little cruel with these rich tea biscuits… They are a little bland, but there is something charming about their simplicity… Not sure I would have them for a royal wedding, though
Fun post, lol about the rich tea biscuits
Can’t wait to see what the royal wedding cakes would look like.
It is indeed strange to request a groom’s cake made from such drab sounding biscuits, but I guess that’s one of the more benign side effects of hundreds of years of royal inbreeding (no offense, but think about it).
Justing popping in again to say hello…one more day until we see what Kate wears…can’t wait!
xoxo
Karyn
You are hilarious. And yes, I know exactly what you think that last picture looks like, thank you very much. But I think it is kind of sweet that W asked for something so simple considering it all, or perhaps that is why he wants something simple amidst all the crazyness. I would not want to be in their shoes tomorrow…I just hope they manage to have a little fun through it all.
I’m sorta sick of hearing about the Royal Wedding…and I live in the US. I can’t imagine what it’s like in the UK.
I was dying laughing about the rich tea biscuit description. It doesn’t really sound like my cup of tea…or my cup of vomit rich tea biscuit tea.
That is exactly what we all adore about you HH, you are a Queen in your own mind. I think it’s us wacked out Americans that go royalty nuts. I am looking forward to the wedding as if it were my own. I adore what I see/read of Kate. I’m incredibly impressed.
O.K. as for the fruit cake, well no positive thoughts there but I know the wedding cake will be amazing. Wills request, very sentimental indeed and don’t tell anyone, it looks good to me?!! And yes, it DOES looks like THAT.
I’ll be thinking of you @ 3.am.as well all belly-up to the tellie to absorb all the tidbits of the historical day.
Cheers my dearest Queen xo xo debs
fruit cake? and tea biscuits…hmmm I do like that the cake is dusted with cocoa!!! glad you tried!
sweetlife
Love your sense of humor girl! Can’t say I am much into the royal wedding, but I sure would eat the biscuit cake way over the fruit cake any day.
Dying to hear your thoughts abiut the wedding…what did you think of the dress?
I cannot believe you did not get an invitation! how dare they?
“Chocolate Biscuit Fridge Cake”
All I can say is OMG.
And about Kate’s hair. Love it. She is a stunner.
Anyhow….
Do you know Harry? Is he available?
xx
I love this post and your sense of humor.
Never had the English biscuits but your cakes looks great. My grandma used to make us something like that with biscuits, Turkish delight, walnuts and some syrup to tie the all together.
Thanks for sharing your version
I am still curious – did you get that invitation? (may be a late delivery)
Did you ever see a pic of the wedding cake? I didn’t.
