Hey daaaaaahlings, I don’t know if you remember last month when I made a coeur a la creme for Valentine’s Day as part of More Than Burnt Toast’s “Invite a Blogger to Your Table.” Basically, it’s an initiative to team up with other bloggers and try something new, something that maybe you are afraid to try on your own. Well this time, it was my turn, and I decided to try my hand at something I’ve always wanted to make: homemade pasta. For this project, I have teamed up with Christina at her uber inspirational blog From Buenoes Aires to Paris. And although she is my partner on this, Steve from Wierd Combinations decided to hop on for the ride too! Oh gosh…. had I known how super annoying it is to make pasta before I invited them, I’d have felt like one mean and nasty (but very beautiful) housewife. OMG, what a chore!
Steve daaaaahling, can we pretend this was your idea?
Before I get into my own personal pasta saga, I just want to say thanks to both Christina and Steve for stepping up to the challenge. You guys rock! Christina made such a beautiful springtime pasta dish. I knew hers would be amazing. When it comes to cooking and baking, it seems like there is nothing she can’t do. Although her food always looks elaborate and stunning, I can imagine her guests come over and she says, “Oh, this old thing (even if it’s like a six foot tall croquembouche or something)… Oui, I just threw it together.” She is all effortless chic. I love her, and she never fails to inspire me. And Steve, I got to love him just for the name of his dish: Heartache Tagliatelle Custard. Oh Steve, I am feeling you on the heartache thing! This was not an easy challenge!! He made his with a hand cranked pasta machine. OMG, if it was me, I’d be dead. I’d have to be sent for a week long spa treatment at some super expensive Swiss spa. I’d need to feast on a diet of Murray’s bagels with all manner of exotic smoked fish and other various fatty toppings, specially shipped from NYC. Maybe a few Krispy Kreme donuts too.. you know, for the glowing complexion. Hubbs would go bankrupt, and he’d never hear the end of my pain and dramas (well daaahlings, I like to milk a situation for what it’s worth). Plus I love Steve cause I think he’s the only guy who reads my blog LOL 
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Anyways, this was my thought process for my first ever pasta attempt: because I’ve never made pasta before, I should start of with the most basic of recipes. I used a recipe From Gino D’Acampo’s book, Gino’s Pasta, to make the most basic, unflavoured linguine. I figured, start easy and learn the basics… easy my arse! Part one of the process begins with making the dough. You put a bunch of sifted flour on the counter, you make a well in the middle, break in the eggs, oil and salt, and knead into dough. Why, my dears, do I seem to live inside an episode of I Love Lucy? My eggs somehow started dripping off the counter and onto my beautiful wood floors. It was gross, super messy, and involved a monster clean up. The dough was unusual. I was having doubts about whether the finished product was going to come out right. It was a very hard, dense dough, that was pretty unyielding. After much kneading, it did become somewhat more pliable, but I just wasn’t sure I was on the right track (turns out I was though). I then had to rest the dough (and myself!) for at least 20 minutes. Yep, it was time to take a luxury bubble bath…
Okay, feeling more like myself, it was time to go on to part two of this pasta making extravaganza. It was time to set up my new KitchenAid pasta making attachment. I must say, if you don’t have one of these, don’t even attempt pasta making unless want to end up in traction! My goodness, how do the Italian mamas do it?? The attachment is absolutely fantastic… well, that is if unlike Moi-self, you fit the attachment properly, and not upside down LOL! After a little help from Mr P though, I was able to get things started. The kneaded dough would be inserted and out would come dough that reminded me very much of a silk scarf. It was kind of fabulous, but also incredibly fiddly and not that easy to maneuver once these “scarves” of dough kept getting longer and longer. Once these silky sheets of pasta are ready, you’ve got to insert the cutting attachment and reinsert the dough. The dough all of the sudden is transformed into beautiful linguine. Fiddly, messy, linguine. I am warning you now, have a plan where of to put it before the pasta comes out, or you will have a horrible mission ahead (yep, learned that one from experience). If like me, you put that newly formed pasta on plate, you will find yourself with a tangled sticky mess. You’ve got to hang the pasta so that it’s nice and straight. Properly, it should look a little like this:
Believe it or not, I used a drying rack for laundry, and it worked a treat! Yes, my unmentionables have spaghetti on them now 
, but I bet some men would find that sexy.
Just imagine this for a second daaaaahlings. There are spaghetti strings hanging all over my beautiful kitchen, tons of flour on the floor, and my back is just aching after individually and painstakingly separating and hanging pasta strategically around my super expensive lingerie. I have left the pasta to dry in that position while I proceeded to monster cleanup number two:
And shortly after making my kitchen floors “shiny and new,” I was ready to go pasta pickin! Check out these beautiful strands of pasta. They remind me of Rapunzel and her flaxen locks. Actually, I am super impressed. But what you can’t tell, is that this pasta is MUCH more brittle than the kind you buy at the store. It is super breakable, and before I knew what was happening, my newly cleaned floor was once again soiled by shards of pasta as I picked them off the rack.
Not bad, eh?
Alright, so at this point, I knew I’d have to clean the floors again, I am tired, and I need some serious ibuprofen. Let me ask you, do you think I was in the mood to make some fabulous sauce to go with it? Hell freaking no! So what I ended up doing was making a brown butter and sage sauce. Basically, I took an undisclosed amount of butter, and let it brown on medium heat. At the end I added some freshly torn sage leaves from my garden. That’s it. Trust me though, it is good stuff.
When boiling up my pasta, I said to Mr P, “If this pasta disintegrates in the water, there is going to be a major tantrum, and I will just buy some pasta and pretend I made it.” OMG, am I not the most horrid creature evvvaaa? Luckily, it cooked beautifully! Oh, and did I mention that the pasta water was seasoned with hubby’s favourite flavour in the world: my salty tears of frustration!
…And voila daaaaahlings, may I present to you my finished product.
Taste wise, it was super yummy. The pasta does taste better than the premium pasta I buy at the supermarket, but only slightly better. In all honesty however, for the amount of mess and effort involved, I could not recommend making your own if you are simply going to make a standard egg pasta like I did. Not when it is so reasonably priced in the shops. I’ll tell you one thing, this experiment has definitely taught me not to balk at £4.49 linguine that Hubbs and I normally purchase. I now realize that it is absolutely worth every penny! I will now be enjoying the stuff with a much greater appreciation. Still, I do plan of getting more use out of my pasta machine (but not anytime soon LOL). I want to try making flavoured pastas and ravioli. It would suck if I only used my attachment once. That thing was expensive.
At this point, I really should type out the recipe for home made pasta, but you know what? Even though I made that pasta yesterday, I am still tired, so buy the book LOL. It’s awesome, full of loads of yummy pictures and (mostly) easy recipes. It has become a sort of “pasta bible” for me. I highly recommend it. Just for this recipe, I recommend one extra ingredient be added to the list: ibuprofen.
…And finally, it was time for monster cleanup number 3. You know what they say girlies, “It starts with you sinking into his arms, it ends with your arms in his sink.” Ah, so true.
Okay, time for me to recover. In the meantime, I do hope you’ve entered my Amazon giveaway. You can use it to buy yourself a pasta roller (Not! That thing is the Anti-Christ), or any other manner of goodies. The competition closes on Friday, don’t miss out. I’m not going to enter my own contest, but if I won, I’d order the uber jar of Nutella . How about you? Anyway, the competition is open to anyone in the UK, EU, USA and anywhere else where you can order from Amazon. Good luck my pretties!
I realize that you didn’t post a recipe. I typed faster than I thought
This pasta post is kinda erotic…LOL
Pasta looks great!
Oh no! I love making pasta, and I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy it. It looks beyond delicious with the brown butter and sage. Next time, I’ll come to help with it so the clean up isn’t so painstaking, and I’ll find a way to convince you making pasta is fun!
This post is a masterpiece, how fitting those photos of La Diva. Your pasta looks superb!!!!! You should make it all the time for your hubby, I did not know you could make it so well, chérie!
I have always wanted to make it, except, it so much easier to buy. I’m lazy (spoiled?) like that.
Just looking at you being played out by Madonna was enough to get me to stay put ….what a story…what a saga and I burst out laughing at the thought of you running to the market and pretending you made the pasta if it turned to mush….but it didn’t – it’s gorgeous. So here’s to you – what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger – so is HH the reigning pasta Queen now????
What a great post!!!
Hope your St Patty’s day was fabulous!
chow! Devaki @ weavethousandflavors
You crack me up! I can realte… I have only made fresh past a few times, and every time the kitchen looks like a war zone! But it does taste good…
Hi! Hope you are well, Been out of sorts with respects to me blogging but I am working hard to get back. Love the idea of making pasta but terrified also.
Hugs HH
You’re hilarious… New to your blog – enjoyed the read! (And the pasta looks great!)
Mary
You did a great job with the past. It looks delicious. The part of putting the flour on the counter and making a well in the middle and adding the eggs etc., these are just fancy things the chefs do. I just add the ingredients in the bowl of my stand mixer and use the dough hook and it’s ready until you say “I love making pasta”
Oh my gosh! I don’t think I could heart you anymore than I already do. Madonna/pasta = LOVE!!! Love your style something fierce. ExxOhh Ex Oh!!
your pasta looks gorgeous. i have a pasta machine (manual) but haven’t used it in quite a bit…should change that!
hope you had a fabulous weekend!
Ha ha..love the photos of Madonna finding a way to make pasta sexy..or well..slutty lol I don’t think she can get away with that anymore..well, maybe, depending on the camera lens and filter
Anyway, I go through moods, sometimes I’m into making it, others, not..sort of a sporadic thing, but alwys better than boxed, IMO.
I love making my own pasta…yours looks delicious!
I had to laugh when you said you used your laundry drying rack to dry the pasta…I do the same thing!! Hahaha..love it! 
Talk about perfection, those noodles look flawless! Mine always come out too thick and scraggly when I make them from scratch…
I love my KitchenAid pasta attachment, too. In fact, I’ve even been eye-ing that KitchenAid extruder that makes macaroni, too. I make homemade pasta noodles a few times a year. So worth the effort.
I love this post, fun, informative and loads of Madonna…my idol, who yes I must admit it…I worship&Love her!!! She is so sexy and gorgeous in those photos, they are some of my favorite of her ever…
I have a pasta machine and on occasion make it, it takes awhile but is so delish! I should buy that cookbook
You must be tired..please rest so you don’t get any wrinkles on that gorgeous face of yours!!
xx
Bunny
Congratulations! I made ravioli once only and about 4 hours of work ended up in 16 pieces!! Oh dear! My P must have been so impressed…although I sometimes wonder if they realise how much work goes into this food thing?!
Was it REALLY that bad? Now I MUST see your recipe. Do you have a pic of the attachment you have? I have one, too, and want to see if it is the same. I still have not made pasta yet – but actually have the 00 flour and was going to today – then couldn’t figure out how to put my pasta making attachment together… and I think mine is not the same – as there isn’t a flat part – just the part for the shapes. All I can say, is you are the DRAMA QUEEN. And the simplicity of the brown butter and sage pasta is stunning. I cannot wait to try, even thought I have been completely FOREWARNED. Obviously, I don’t take you as seriously as you take yourself. (Maybe I should – time will tell!)
XO
Valerie