I went to London last Saturday and towards the afternoon I stopped in Selfridges. It was totally not fun. It is that time of year again when London is jam packed full of holiday shoppers. You can’t really move without budging into someone. It is absolutley uncomfortable and kind of frustrating. How people are supposed to pick out presents in that kind of environment, I am not sure. I adore shopping, but not like this.
Why is it that certain holidays are just only about gift giving? Yes, they may have some wonderful meanings and purposes, but in the end, it really is all about the goodies if we are honest. What I really hate is when there are people that we feel we must give something to, even if we don’t actually like them. Don’t pretend you don’t have any of these daaaaaaaaahlings. I know you do. I have a couple of them myself. They are people (sometimes work mates, “friends”, and sometimes family) that we loathe to spend our money on. Especially when there are so many fabulous goodies out there that we would like to buy for ourselves. For you, my dears, I’ve come up with some special ideas 
.
.The following is something I found on Serious Eats, which actually was the inspiration for this blog post.
Actually, I thought this was really cute. Put some Cheerios in a plastic bag and pass them off as donut seeds! Ah, if only one really could grow a donut tree. Mine would surely grow Krispy Kremes and there would be special “hot light” to let you know when the fresh donuts have grown in . One can dream I guess. But think of the possibilities! How many of these little “gifts” can you make for $1? Perhaps this would make a cool gift for someone’s snotty little kid? I bet you have something better to buy with your hard earned money than some stupid GI Joe or Barbie toy for some little brat!
. One can dream I guess. But think of the possibilities! How many of these little “gifts” can you make for $1? Perhaps this would make a cool gift for someone’s snotty little kid? I bet you have something better to buy with your hard earned money than some stupid GI Joe or Barbie toy for some little brat!Or how about you buy them a book with a “secret” message, something that is sure to insult. Here are a couple of examples:
Tell someone they have no manners, AND they are dumb!
Something for a multi-faceted looser
Something for the office slut
For my next idea, I was thinking you can do something that makes YOU feel good about yourself while not actually “giving” the recipient anything. You can buy someone a charitable gift. You can help a child, contribute towards a medical charity, or adopt a pet/animal in your friend’s name for a year. Here is a website with a great list of these kind of gifts. An added bonus here is that with this gift, it is incredibly politically incorrect for the recipient to act anything other than pleased. Sneaky!
How about buying your not so favorite person a little pet for their child? Woo hoo! That would open up a freakin’ can of worms (excuse the pun)! Little Snot Nose can be the recipient of a charming hamster which mom or dad will now have to feed and clean. Now that’s cool, right? Just imagine all the joy you will get knowing someone you don’t really like is cleaning up hamster poo, and it’s all your fault?!? Oh, the absolute JOY!!!
Of course there’s always the concept of re-gifting. Just give someone a junky present that someone gave you. Did someone buy you some cheap piece of tat last year? Pass it onto someone who really deserves it! Make sure to wrap it up nice though .
Rubber chicken handbag anyone?
Believe it or not, this bag was actually sold out!!! Who the heck would buy this??? Someone is walking around looking like a major freaky-doo. I bet it was Britney.
Last but not least, there’s always some crap you can buy at the dollar/pound store. You never know what you can find at a dollar store… but surely you have “friends” that deserve on of those gems, no? Please, people do this! I see loads of people heading into the dollar stores around this time of year. Yeah, that’s probably where your last dumb gift came from. Return the favour daaaaaahling, and treat YOURSELF to a goodie, something that you actually DO want.
Now that I’ve saved you oodles of money, perhaps you’d like to buy something for your favorite housewife, no? Have you ever given someone a present that you knew kinda sucked? Do tell the class my dear, we want to know!
OMG! You are absolutely brilliant! Your friends must be afraid of you come the holidays. I love the idea of a charitable gift donation: perhaps a donation to a gay/l;esbina hcarity for that uptight conservative relative? I’m going to remember the pet idea for my sister’s bratty daughter. Puppies really are adorable, aren’t they?